Broken into Beautiful

Today's devotional was great! It was by Gwen Smith and it was called "Broken into Beautiful" (which she wrote a beautiful song to go along with it which you can find on YouTube). http://www.girlfriendsingod.com/Default.aspx?tabid=97 . Today she talked about how she was once broken. She was a Christian girl but made some mistakes and got pregnant in college. They didn't know what to do so she got an abortion so they didn't have to face their problem...but she quickly realized that what she had done was even more of a problem now within her. Her decision haunted her for years!! But she finally turned back to God and let Him heal her pain. And she came to see that He turned broken into beautiful!

I have never had something like that happen and I pray I never do--but there are so many things in my life that I did wrong...so many mistakes...so many regrets. Everything from bad relationships to depression in my life! But I've given it all over to God to heal within me and He has in such great ways! He's taken me from broken into beautiful! Even just since the New Year I have grown immensely in my walk with God! Though I regret a lot of things that I have done in my life--I wouldn't take them back for anything in the world because they have helped shape who I am today! God is sovereign, merciful, and loving! He wants nothing but the best for His children and wants them to grow into men and women after His own heart and sometimes it takes learning from mistakes to get you to that point! I praise the Lord for where He has brought me and what He has brought me out of! Even when it seems like He doesn't--God DOES know what He's doing and His will is perfect for your life. Yes, sometimes we mess up His plan but in the end it all works out for good.

I'm actually writing a devotional book for teen girls. It is called "Why Me, Lord?" It's been a work in progress for quite sometime but I hope to finish it before I graduate. My desire for it is to help girls to see that even amidst all the trials of life--and the mistakes of life--that you can make it through and become a woman after God's own heart! I took everything I have experienced in my life personally and applied Scripture to it to show how to deal with it biblically! I hope I can finish it and that it can share my own story and be an impact to others that may be going through the same things!

"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" Psalm 34:5

Think on These Things

Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

This verse was the theme verse of my devotional today. It's simply a list of the things that we should be letting our minds think about. Our thought life can be a huge struggle for some of us. And it might not just be talking about an impure thought life! But what are we thinking about? What are we setting our minds on? Is it impure? Or angry thinking? Or backstabbing insults about the girl or guy that you just can't stand? Or is it just negative thinking that you will never get what you want or nothing good ever happens to you? All these types of thoughts continually enter the human mind. Mary Southerland pointed out that the mind will always be thinking of something and Satan will try to fill it with wrong or evil thinking.

Proverbs 23:7, "For as he thinks within himself, so he is"

Our true self comes out with what we're thinking about. God wants our thought life to be centered on Him and things that will honor and please Him! Things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable just like the passage points out! It can be hard sometimes when things aren't going the way you want them too or you're just having a bad day and are fed up. That's why we need to ask Christ to give us a mind that He honors. "When we choose to surrender the control of our mind to God, He will honor that choice and give us the strength and power to think right. And when we think right - we will live right." So...think before you think!

These past two weeks back at school have been full of its ups and downs for me. For the past couple of weeks I have not wanted to be here at all. I think I'm really just ready to graduate and move to the next chapter of my life, but God's slowly teaching me that I need to have patience and be joyful and content where He has me right now. I've had some relationship issues that I've had to work through due to some transitions/changes and that was not easy either. But God has blessed me with wonderful friends that have made these two weeks a lot of fun too! I always think each day how blessed I really am. God has given me amazing friends, family, 2 great churches and pastors, BBC and it's great professors...and He's provided with many of my financial needs. My financial needs are not totally gone yet...I am still in the red but He's definitely been providing. PTL!

Another big struggle that has been hard these past couple of weeks is my relationship status. I'm 21, single, and never dated before in my life. That's hard because I do want someone special in my life and I am horrible with patience! But I do know that God has someone amazing for me! I just need His strength to give me the patience and trust that I need until He brings that person along. A lady I was talking to from church told me that her pastor once said to her, "You're 2/3 married. I'm willing and you're willing. We just have to find a young man who's willing". LOL...that made me laugh a bit, but I know God is sovereign and in control. He has a plan and it's perfect! And I want nothing more in my life than God's perfect will to be done!

Standing Firm in the Storms of Life

So today is my little brother's 12th birthday--we all said he can no longer have anymore birthdays after this because we don't want him to grow up :) lol. Time really does fly! He came rushing in my room early this morning (probably around 7:45) very upset and crying because my 18 year old brother, Sam was having another one of his Grand Mal Seizures! Thankfully he has them in his sleep so he does not hurt himself or others but Matty was very upset. Not really a great way for him to have to start his birthday! But he's had a great day other than that, I think :) This break for me has been kind of stressful...I'm thankful for a break from school but didn't really plan for all this stuff. It started right when I got home and had a doctor's appointment for my wrists. They told me I would need an EMG and possibly surgery for carpal tunnel. (Although I just had my EMG yesterday and it didn't hurt at all...actually felt kind of cool...and I don't have carpal tunnel...something with my tendons that I may go to an Orthopedic Specialist for) I thought, I'm 21 and already have carpal tunnel?! Go figure... (and I'd have to pay for all the appointments and procedures...with the money I didn't have) Then after that I had this great opportunity to babysit an 8 month old from our church for 2 weeks, $500! I'd live with my grandparents and it was good pay. We were all set and then the mom called and said she hired someone else...I wasn't too happy about that especially since I hadn't gotten any work hours in yet. Then my phone bill was a lot higher than anticipated and found out they charge for the first two months on your first bill...and I didn't have that money! Our family also had some problems with my sister for a little while and now my brother is having seizures again. I really didn't know how much more I could take.

I just sat down to do my devotions for today and my heart was definitely in need of something encouraging...and God knew that and showed it to me :) My devotional today was by Mary Southerland. It was called Standing Firm in the Storms of Life. I read the title of that and was like "Thank you, God...I know this will be great for me!" And it was! Mary Southerland said that storms will come into our lives, there's no avoiding that! But, these storms are not punishment but rather opportunities to trust in God. I must say I've tried to say I'm trusting God but in my heart and mind I'm really not. The saying is true..."Easier said than done!" But she has laid out a way to be able to face our storms in a way that honors God. 2 Corinthians 6:6 She gives the first three ways in the first part of her devotional (I think the second part should be tomorrow): 1) Live a pure life. 2) Seek understanding and 3) Learn to be patient. That last one is definitely hardest for me so I will definitely have to work extra hard on that one! Southerland ends it with something really great, "Trials are a test, a measurement of growth. Patience gives God permission to work and even expects to be tested. We go to great lengths to avoid trials and shelter ourselves from the storms of life. The result is spiritual immaturity. God will not build our character without our cooperation and He will not work in us without our permission. We must surrender, invite Him to work and then by faith, patiently embrace that work in our life."

I know God will get me through all these trials if I have trust and faith in His strength alone! He's already answered some prayers by my EMG going well and not having carpal tunnel! I know He'll provide all the money I need for my bills (Philippians 4:19). He always has and He always will be faithful to those who follow and obey Him. I will always love this song and verse and cling to their very words.

Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song
In the night season and all the day long.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

A New Beginning

Well, today is January 1, 2011! Happy New Year! I've actually made it through another year alive :) 2010 was definitely a rough year and left a lot of room for growing! I can say that in some of those situations I grew and some it took a little longer...but in each and every one God brought me through and showed me that He is in total control of my life and has a great plan in store for me...whether I see it right now or not! Most people's immediate reaction in a hard situation is..."everyone feel bad for me!"...and I can't say that I didn't have those thoughts at some of the times during some hard times but I quickly can realize that there are so many people that have it so much worse than me that all I can say is, "Thank you, God, for this situation and that it's not as bad as it could ever be!"

Yes, I have made my list of New Years resolutions which I really hope to stick to. Some of them are the typical...lose weight, exercise more, get better grades...and some of them are even typical Christian resolutions...read through the Bible in a year, do my devotions everyday, have a better prayer life...and those are really good and important resolutions and should never be underestimated! However, I heard a great challenge on Wednesday night by Chris Kehoe where He pointed out that we cannot lose focus...we still need to keep our focus on the cross and the importance of it. So often I know I lose focus of that! Then I also read a chapter in my devotional book that I got for Christmas, Devotion Explosion, by Christy Bower. The first chapter was called "An Appointment with Disappointment" and she points out that we all tend to make devotions a duty in our lives and we feel guilty over missing them--we failed our Christian duty. But doing our devotions, prayer, and our overall devotion should not be a duty to us but a desire within us...something that we do not have to force ourselves to do! 1 Thessalonians 5:17, "Pray without ceasing" and that sounds so extreme to us...praying all day, nonstop?! But really it is such a great and healthy thing and will give us a more healthy and intimate relationship with God. It's just like having an ongoing conversation each day with God--it never bothers us to talk to our friends all the time...just do it like that!

I know this year I want to strive to have that intimate relationship with my Father. I know it won't be easy all the time but it's something I'm committing to do today on January 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm. God will give me the strength. I want God's will in my life more than anything and though sometimes it's hard to wait...yes, patience is the biggest thing I struggle with!...God will bring me through any struggle, trial, or temptation with His great and mighty strength! I choose to depend on Him and give Him total control of my life. I will continue to cling to my verse that has helped me through a whole lot in 2010!

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Some Through the Waters, Some Through the Floods...

Isaiah 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."

God Leads Us Along

In shady, green pastures, so rich and so sweet,
God leads His dear children along;
Where the water’s cool flow bathes the weary one’s feet,
God leads His dear children along.

Refrain

Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
In the night season and all the day long.

Sometimes on the mount where the sun shines so bright,
God leads His dear children along;
Sometimes in the valley, in darkest of night,
God leads His dear children along.

Refrain

Though sorrows befall us and evils oppose,
God leads His dear children along;
Through grace we can conquer, defeat all our foes,
God leads His dear children along.

Refrain

Away from the mire, and away from the clay,
God leads His dear children along;
Away up in glory, eternity’s day,
God leads His dear children along.

This past semester has definitely felt like I've gone through the floods, but God has been faithful in my life as always! This entire semester has been rough and has left a ton of room for growing closer to my God! I am thankful that the semester is now drawing to and end with only 8 days left until I go home for Christmas break. I have been drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually throughout this time--yet writing this right now I feel great joy and contentment with God and my life. He truly has blessed me beyond measure and I can never thank Him enough! Classes have been hard and draining, work tedious, losing friendships, need a new job next semester if I want good hours, migraines started again, found out I had carpal tunnel (in both wrists) and it only seems to be getting worse instead of better--and then the big situation I had to work through (and am still working through a little) is the truth of my dad's death which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with! There have been a lot of times this semester that I asked God, why? And, I believe it's okay to ask Him that question sometimes...life can be hard.

But, amidst all those trials, "floods", I have been able to be blessed considerably by friends and family. My hard and draining classes--God have me strength and friends to help me get through. My tedious work--God has provided me with amazing women to work with to keep me sane :) Losing a friendship--God has kept me from getting into trouble through his influence and has blessed me with much more amazing friends. Needing a new job next semester--though I do not have one yet, I have the assurance that God does provide and will work it out for good. My migraines starting up again--God has allowed these at times when I needed that extra rest and by God's grace they go away after a little nap! Getting carpal tunnel in my wrists--this has allowed me to trust completely in God to take care of me...and I know he will! Then my situation with the truth about my dad's death--God has given me the most amazing friends that have talked with me and helped me get through the situation and has also given me the strength to put all my trust and dependence in God...I have definitely gotten closer to God in these past few weeks! Praise The Lord!

We all have so many things going on in our life that probably seem too hard to handle and are out of our control, but there are things in every situation that we can praise God for through them! I cannot imagine trying to get through each of these without God's hand there to lead me along and His strength, protection and provision through each and every one of them. We serve a great and mighty God--we need to be praising Him every day for all He gives and does in and through our lives.

Total Surrender

God's really been doing a lot in my life...I've been through some high's and some low's. I wrote this poem tonight kind of just for myself but I wanted to share it on here.

Total Surrender:

I'm making a promise to You, my God

I know at times that it will be hard,

Your grace and Your love will guide me through

so that I might live my life totally surrendered to You!

All my life I lived for myself;

Doing it all, not asking for help.

How can I come to You and ask Your forgiveness?

I do not deserve it, yet You offer it with promise.

Promise to forgive, to love and to comfort

If I just ask and give You my all.

I'm making a promise to You, my God

I know at times that it will be hard,

Your grace and Your love will guide me through

so that I might live my life totally surrendered to You!

How can I express my thankfulness to You?

You've given to me abundantly and then even more.

So many times I forget to show you gratitude,

I complain and I can sometimes show some attitude.

I praise You now for all You've given and done for me;

I cannot imagine what my life would be like without Your grace.

I'm making a promise to You, my God

I know at times that it will be hard,

Your grace and Your love will guide me through

so that I might live my life totally surrendered to You!

Philippians 4:19~God's Provisional Promise

Wow, I'm psyched right now! God really shows His great and awesome provision in my life all the time! A few weeks back I found out I have to pay $350 just to finish off this semester (which I did not have the money for) and using my money I make at work would mean I would not be able to buy any Christmas presents this year which really upset me. My first reaction was worry and doubt that I would stay the rest of the semester, with a bit of anger as well. Shalom, a lady at our church, encouraged me to trust God and to withdraw my resources from God who promises to supply all our needs.

Philippians 4:19, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

I could not believe that doubted the great power of God to provide for His child. I started praying and my church was praying along with most of my friends. Yesterday, November 10, 2010, me and my roommate, Liz went to Shalom's house for a Bible study in the afternoon and once again she encouraged me to trust God and know that He was going to provide that money for me somehow. I had no idea that at our Wednesday night prayer meeting that same day God laid it on the hearts of the deacons to generously grant me the entire $350 for my bill! They told me I would have it by Sunday (That's the day before it would've been due--granted they gave me an extension until December to get it but it is really due November 15th)!! What an amazing and awesome and loving God I serve! I cannot believe I doubted His provisions at the start! I praise God for friends who can remind me of the sufficiency of God's grace and provision. I cannot do anything in my own power and what a relief and encouragement that we serve a God that CAN!

Today's devotional was by Mary Southerland and spoke about praising God no matter what. Paul faced many trials and hardships that could have given him reason to not want to praise God. But he chose to praise God--no matter what the circumstance! Why aren't we doing that each and every day? God is so worthy of our praise yet we do not give Him the praise that He is due.

Psalm 138:2 "I will give thanks to your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness, because your promises are backed by all the honor of your name."

"Praise invites God to take up residence in the middle of whatever mess we are facing.

Psalm 22:3 "But You are holy, Enthroned in the praises of Israel."

Praise produces trust in God and strengthens our faith.

Psalm 42:11 "But, O my soul, don't be discouraged. Don't be upset. Expect God to act! For I know that I shall again have plenty of reason to praise him for all that he will do. He is my help! He is my God!"

My favorite thing that Mary Southerland said in the devotional was : "When we are discouraged, praise reminds us that there is hope in God. When we are afraid, praise reminds us that no matter what happens, God is with us. When we are lost, praise reminds us that God has already been where He is leading us. When we are confused, praise reminds us that heaven is not in a panic."

There is great importance in praise...why don't we all just take time to praise Him for all that He has, is, and will do in our lives!